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Exposing my underbelly

Normally I write blog posts that are for inspiration, information and tools to help you in your life. But today I am going to share a special situation that I have recently gone through. And my goal from this post, is to also inspire you and help spark a light in you that will propel you forward.

Having been on an intensive spiritual wave for the past five years, you reach a point when you feel that you know all there is to know. Even though that’s not true, but the ego convinces you of this. It may take you less or more time to get to this place but it happens. For me it wasn’t just from studying Kabbalah for five years, but also because of all the studying I did for the past year to learn new modalities and expand my abilities. I truly have learned a lot. So, the thought comes in, “what could anyone else teach me?”

Here in lies the problem. We are not perfect and its impossible to know “everything”. For one major reason. We are all unique and different in our gifts, abilities, and perspective. Our pasts and astrology have colored our world and our vision and the way we see things, situations, people etc. As such, it makes it hard to say, “I know everything.” Because the reality is we don’t. We can’t. Not ever. And to believe so is to fool yourself. I was this same fool. I laugh at myself now, but at the time it was a real struggle. I had forced myself to start attending events of another coach that I had felt called to connect with. This was a stretch at first, but my heart center vibrated anytime I saw her, talked with her, and I couldn’t resist.

Well in comes another opportunity. I saw it, and was like, “I got my shit together, I don’t need to watch someone else’s business course.” It’s true, I took a 20-week spiritual entrepreneurial business course. It was intense and by the time all was said and done, I was set. So what could this person have to offer me? Well, as I mentioned above, my ego had me by the hair. And I was in complete denial and total resistance phase. That was until I made a declaration and it was validated, it was then I understood that the universe meant for me to take this course. Over the past five years I had trained myself to listen to the messages that came. Even when they were hard. So this one was truly a hard pill to swallow. And as I began to open, staring with just a minute crack, I let in some of this person’s Light.

As I did, something remarkable began to happen. I was doing an assignment, and when she got to certain words, I found my resolve break and shatter into a thousand shards at my feet. I was crying. And then she got to another word and I cried some more.

I won’t keep you in suspense. The words were, accepting, forgiving, receptive. These three magical words changed my life. Because if any of you have ever been broke before, you know what happens next, there is only one place left to go, up. I don’t regret starting this class. Because it taught me a valuable lesson.

One, the ego will always try to stop you from earning your blessings, and two, there is always something to learn so “why not?” That’s my new motto. Why not? When it comes to trying new things, new ideologies. If I am to truly embrace this expansive version of myself that I adore, then “why not?” Why not grab life by the reins and explore it all? Do what you gravitate to, but don’t “not” do it because you think you know it all.

Until next time

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